There are crisis days . . . and then there are “those days” . . .
“One of those days” can mean different things to each of us, but seems to refer to a level of frustration that is not entirely unexpected or surprising, but frustrating nonetheless. This is the level we feel comfortable venting about. The type of things that we believe others will get and can relate to.
Sometimes the group of folks who actually gets it may be very small. Peers who are in similar situations or circumstances as us. Like adoptive parents, or parents of challenging children – – other parents may not have similar levels of understanding of the ways early childhood trauma plays out in day to day life for some of them and cannot relate because it is so far out of their own experiences and understanding.
So we quickly learn that it takes too much explaining and then they still don’t really get it. We listen patiently if they dare to mention their frustrations and nod that yes, we get it. While swallowing any statement swirling around in our heads that begins with “. . . lady, you don’t have a clue . . .” and just smile and nod knowingly. That is if they even talk to you anymore after you dared to bare any hint of what you are going through. Good friends will still inquire how you are, how the family is or even a certain child – – but after a while you just tell them it’s better, about the same or could be worse and thanks for asking. You may quickly take your leave or change the subject, knowing they care and that’s enough.
Today was one of those days . . . I found out my teenage daughter who has been sneaking food had eaten the meatloaf from the freezer (family size, not single serve). Then my son who has school online thought it was funny to use the spell-check/word suggestion function to generate a list of random words for an essay question on his English test. After being up a lot over the past few nights with a sick child and having caught that one’s bug, myself, it was not a crisis day, thankfully – – just one of those days.
But in the midst of it all, I am grateful (Having just come off of Thanksgiving weekend may have helped!) I’m grateful these “minor” frustrations are not the major crisis issues we have or could have been dealing with. As our pastor said on Sunday – – be grateful IN everything, not FOR everything. Still praying for the coughing to subside and giving up what seems almost daily in frustration over one thing or another, only to pick it back up and give it another go – – whether it be English or Algebra schoolwork, strategic food placement, planned pro-active conversations, or just getting out of bed to do it again.
How about you? How many times do you feel like giving up out of frustration in a week? And how many times do you find yourself gearing up to face it all again and keep on keeping on? Venting can be good if we have someone who gets it and who responds with understanding rather than condemnation. And IF it helps us move THROUGH the frustration and feelings of giving up and encourages us to move forward. I think it’s isolating and defeating when there is no outlet, no one who you can safely vent to. Leave a comment and share what you think about venting.
Kids from hard places can have overwhelming emotions. As a parent, I want to help my children learn to use positive coping skills and give them helpful tools.
I’ve gotten some great result in my own family since I’ve begun using premium essential oils. Among the many benefits, they can make a big difference in dealing with overwhelming emotions, focus and sleep.
Hit Reply (if you are reading this in e-mail) or Contact in the menu above (if you are on the website) with “video” in your message to learn more about our premium essential oils and related products that you may want to add to your parenting toolbox. I’ll send you a short video and then follow up to see what you think.
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