Category Archives: Emotional support

Discovered, Taught, Built or Attained?

Our identities.

Are they discovered, taught, built or attained?  Finding myself, figuring out what makes me tick, discovering who I am . . . sound familiar?  Is this really how our identity is forged?  Or is our identity something we learn from our parents and others who teach us “where we come from”?  Are you a “self-made man” (or woman)?  Is your identity something you build for yourself?  And once you have found, learned of or built your identity is that it?  Or is it something that is fluid and changes over time. And is there something of your identity “out there” to attain?

Most people tend to have questions about their identity at some point in their life (or many points).  Those who have been orphans may question their identities even more.  As parents and caregivers what can we do to help them?  As to the questions above, I think all of the above would be my answer.  And each can form a part of the identity quest.

Let’s take them one at a time.

Discover

Kids can discover a lot about themselves and begin to have a sense of their own identity as separate from others as a baby when they acquire the ability to comprehend and understand object permanence.  Ever play peek-a-boo with a baby?  They are learning that even when they don’t see your face, you still exist and will return.  As kids continue to learn and grow and develop their own sense of self – – what they like and don’t like, how they are different from others around them and have different needs and desires at times they are discovering some of their identity.  We can help them clue in to their favorites and their special talents and strengths.

Teach

As we teach them about their heritage, culture and family values we are teaching identity as well.  We can help our kids to connect with these aspects of their identity.  We can help them to understand that while there are good points as well and negatives in their backgrounds, that there are many parts of the fabric of their identity that are woven together in a unique way.  We can help them to learn about positive aspects and how even negatives can provide opportunities to rise above.

Build

It is important to help our children to understand that their identities are not soley made up of things that are out of their control.  They can build into their identities as well.  Choices they make, big and small, build into their character and lead them into who they are becoming.

Attain

1 John 3:1-2
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

Helping our children to understand and embrace how God views them and their identity as children of God (and how to enter into his forever family) is the best way to help them in the identity quest.  Identifying themself as a child of God, just as they may embrace their identity in their new adopted family, is both a present identity and a future attainment.  It is ours now, and will be fully ours in the future.

What are your thoughts on the quest for identity and how we can help our children.  I welcome your comments.

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Kids from hard places can have overwhelming emotions.  As a parent, I want to help my children learn to use positive coping skills and give them helpful tools.

I’ve gotten some great result in my own family since I’ve begun using premium essential oils.  Among the many benefits, they can make a big difference in dealing with overwhelming emotions, focus and sleep.

Hit Reply (if you are reading this in e-mail) or Contact in the menu above (if you are on the website) with “essential emotions” in your message to learn more about our premium essential oils and related products that you may want to add to your parenting toolbox.  I’ll send you a short video and then follow up to see what you think.

When Sleep is Elusive

I recently hosted a 5-day Sleep Challenge (my first time to host a Facebook challenge group experience!) and I want to share here about some key thoughts.

One, sleep is crucial.

It is not something you can really do without and still function at your best.  Sure you can burn the candle at both ends or pull an all-nighter once in a while and get by with it, but not as a regular habit.  Before long, the spiral downward will take its toll.   So getting a new mindset about sleep may be a big deal for you if you tend to view sleep as the enemy.

Two, a good night’s sleep starts early.

It’s not enough to decide to go to bed on time.  (Whatever time that is may need some analysis. We talked about this in the challenge group.)  You can make adjustments throughout the day that may be a benefit to your ability to get to sleep and sleep soundly through the night.  While I am all for napping, for instance, it may help to discern if your napping – – perhaps the timing or length of them – – is negatively affecting your ability to get a good night’s sleep more often than not.  If so, it’s an easy (and free!) adjustment to make sure your naps are helpful, not harmful to your overall quality of sleep.  Some people may need to add a nap if their current schedule does not allow for their optimal amount of night-time sleep.  Guilt-free, of course!  Throughout our sleep challenge, I asked the participants to keep a sleep journal.  This helped to track items throughout the day that could possibly be affecting their sleep at night.  Some other possibilities were caffeine/stimulants; evening snacking; stress and worries; pain.  Of course, there are lots of things that can hinder sleep.  And none of this was/is intended to diagnose/treat/cure anything medical.  (I recommend you see your healthcare practitioner for any medical concerns.)

Three, there are solutions!

While not exhaustive, our sleep challenge pointed to possible solutions and at the end of the challenge I offered a free resource guide with my recommendations for products to help with sleep that I have gleaned from my own experience (and that of my large family who have had a variety of sleep struggles), and others recommendations.  As with our sleep challenge group (I told them they would become their own Sleep Detectives!) it can take some focus time to sleuth out the issues that are negatively affecting your sleep and put in place a workable plan that will address them successfully.

If you are in need of consistently better sleep, I would like to share my resource list with you as well as my Sleep Detective Journal so you can become your own Sleep Detective!

Hit CONTACT above and shoot me your email and I’ll send both documents right out.

Sweet dreams . . .zzzzzz

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Real life is often emotional and kid’s from hard places often have overwhelming emotions. As a parent, I want to help my children learn to use positive coping skills and give them helpful tools.

I have begun using some fantastic essential oils and other products that make a big difference in helping some of my family members with often overwhelming emotions, to manage and focus better.

Hit Reply (if you are reading this in e-mail) or Contact (if you are on the website) above or below to learn more about our toxin-free natural plant-based personal care products and dietary supplements and how they can help you and your family, too.

 

Play’s the Thing

It can be hard to break out of serious mode when life gets chaotic. But notice your child. With them, play’s the thing. They might try to lighten the tensions with awkward attempts at play or joking that may seem inappropriate at the time to adults or older teens. Yet in their own way these children are doing the right thing – – attempting to move out of the negative and onto the positive, letting go of heavy, negative, even scary emotions and urging us to do the same.

When your child attempts to lighten things up, take their lead. And maybe initiate some play yourself, when feeling stressed. It may be just the thing to help everyone to recharge and tackle the serious issue with renewed assurance that it’s the issue – – not the person – – that needs solving. Knowing that the relationship is secure can be HUGE in garnering cooperation and communication.  And it may only take a little playfulness on your part to show that acceptance to your child.

Try it and see how it goes!

Zechariah 8:5 English Standard Version (ESV):

And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets.

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Real life is often emotional and kid’s from hard places often have overwhelming emotions. As a parent, I want to help my children learn to use positive coping skills and give them helpful tools.

I have begun using some fantastic essential oils and other products that make a big difference in helping some of my family members with often overwhelming emotions, to manage and focus better.

Hit Reply (if you are reading this in e-mail) or Contact (if you are on the website) above or below to learn more about our toxin-free natural plant-based personal care products and dietary supplements.  Learn how they can help you and your family, too.